This is a concept that came into my consciousness this summer. I had a very stressful period this summer, in my professional life, that all started because I spoke up and said, you know, “this situation is not working for me anymore.”
At the same time that was going on, the urge to night wean my almost 2 year old daughter, Penelope, and the desire to start creating some boundaries was beginning to peak. It was the same feeling of “this is not working for me anymore” but like with the other situation, it was taking me a long time for me to articulate my thoughts and have the courage to speak up and follow through.
I have a hard time, sometimes, when I am listening to messages from my intuition/higher self, or whatever you want to call it, deciding whether they are coming from a victim/fear place or healthy/whole place.
So sometimes it takes me a long time to act till I am clear. And when I am really unclear about what is going on, why I am feeling the way I am or why things are happening a certain way in my life, I make an appointment with an energy healer. A lot of energy healers are also intuitives or psychics and can give a little guidance on the situation.
I think it is really interesting, when you are going through some sort of Journey or Ordeal , you can see it manifested or playing out in multidimensional ways or layers in your life.
Anyway, after I finally got up the courage to night wean Penelope, with the help of an energy healer to make it all clear, I realized I had been the realm of over mothering and my hesitation about night weaning her was my resistance to change and let go.
I was also resentful of having to nurse her at night and get up so many times for the last two years. I was exhausted and not taking care of myself. I knew things were out of balance but I wasn’t sure how to get them back on track without loosing my foundation of attachment parenting values.
Before this summer, I didn’t think it was possible to over-mother. But after re-reading Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life, and paying attention to where she believes that breast cancer is a physical manifestation of resentment and anger at yourself for over mothering your children, I realize that over mothering is very possible, especially if you are devoted, attached parent.
I have been and still am, a huge supporter of attachment parenting, but now that Penelope is almost two, I am in the process of bringing my mothering energy back into balance and creating a more healthy and age appropriate boundaries with her.
She has been sleeping by herself for a couple of weeks now. It has been ah. mazing. She was totally ready and did not cry or wake up once. I will do a post next week about the logistics, but it was a smooth process.
I am very proud of myself for allowing her some independence and letting her go a bit. I think that part of being a good mother is knowing when to step back, give them space and let them grow up.
So I guess the other moral of the story is, that it is ok to stand up for yourself, and say “this is not working for me” and do whatever you need to do to be happy, take care of yourself and make yourself more of a priority. There is a way to do that and still honor your children and be an attached and authentic parent.
Have you ever noticed yourself in the over-mothering realm? What did you do to put things back into a healthy balance?
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