Why Women Really Cut Their Hair


Hello March, I am so glad to see you. February was kind of rough. Between the bitter cold and deary cloudy days making me mopey and the lovely letter from the IRS that required over 100 hours of work to prove my business expenses for my 2012 tax return, and emotionally/logistically prepping for my first speaking engagement in front of a big crowd, I was OVER February.

Now the cold and IRS are no bueno for sure, but the speaking engagement was a really good thing. It was stressful, but it was the good kind of stress. You know, the stress that comes from pushing yourself outside your comfort zone so you can grow and develop.Preparing to speak to 200 bloggers about my marketing and business strategy about did me in. It’s not my first time in front of a crowd, I’ve even done live TV, but this was such a big group. I was truly terrified.

Before I go on, please give a big thank you to Pear Tree Greetings for sponsoring me to go to this conference by hopping over to their website and taking a look at their fabulous products. Pear Tree covered all my travel expenses besides the conference covering my hotel room and conference ticket in exchange for speaking. And if you find something you love,Β use code BYB2015 at check out for 20% off your entire order!!

And if you are here just for the hair info, scroll to the bottom, I make my point eventually. πŸ™‚

So back to being terrified-being seen is still really hard for me, I’ve talked about it before and know how much I have grown, becoming more comfortable in my own skin and allowing myself to be pretty. But really being seen, as in really putting myself out there and being really being “known” still makes my skin crawl. Leading up to the event, I felt true dread, and I began mentally chastising myself for agreeing to it. The conversation in my head went like this: Why?! Why did I agree to do this? I should just stay home. In bed. With the covers over my head so no one can see me. If I don’t try, then I can’t fail.”

But then I thought of my amazing daughter. And then I’d think, “If I keep hiding my light under my bed covers because the world is too scary, what will she do one day? That’s right, she will be hiding under covers, too.”

So I FORCED myself out of bed, and hurled myself into getting ready, dragging my feet the whole time.

But I did it. I spoke to a crowd of about 200 bloggers and my knees literally shook the entire time. I had grand plans of walking the room and really engaging with the crowd. Oh no. I just stood behind the podium, holding onto the sides as if I was riding a roller coaster.

It wasn’t perfect. I could have done better, for sure. But it was pretty damn good, I have to say. After being in business for 15 years in various capacities, I know what I know. I taught a class about what I know, and teaching is something I am good at. I am not sure if I could ever do a TED talk, but teaching a class, even to two hundred bloggers, is something I can do.

And guess what? People came up to me afterwards to say it was the best class in the whole conference! I about fell over!

My dear friend Stacey in Southern California has been helping me behind the scenes here at M+BL with admin/strategic business development stuff here for a long time, and she came to the conference to support me. I would not have done as well as I did without her, she really was my rock.

And we had so much fun exploring Salt Lake City together, too! Salt Lake is SO interesting. We checked out Temple Square, rode the Trax, lunched at Nordstrom, and ate dinner one night at The Copper Onion. (If you are ever in Salt Lake, you must go here! SO good!)

Salt Lake City, Temple Square.

Salt Lake City, Temple Square.


But back to the title of this post, why women really cut their hair. I had been thinking about cutting my hair for many months. I had intended to cut it when my daughter’s hair back in December, but once we were at the hair appointment, I realized I wasn’t ready.

I mustered up the strength during the last couple months and I chopped 9 inches off! And it got me thinking… and I noticed a pattern in the timing of my haircuts.

I can group my drastic haircuts into a couple of different categories.

There are the times when it is a pure manic episode. There is just so much emotional turmoil going on inside that I chop off my hair as a physical representation of what I am feeling on the inside. I need the world to know that I am going through something.

Then there are the times when my inner world is calm yet I feel the urge to change how the outer world sees me. When I cut my hair when my inner state is calm, it’s because the work is over-the emotional turmoil has already happened, I have processed and resolved it, and feel as if I have reemerged a different person. Again, I need an outward manifestation of this internal process, to prove to the world that things have changed both inside and out.

And then there are the times when I want a change to happen. I feel a quiet rebellion in the depths of my soul, Β and by cutting my hair, I am saying to the world, enough is enough and things must change, some way-some how. And I cut my hair in an effort to make the change happen. I love this quote from Coco Chanel, “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.”

After reflecting on these patterns, I realized I cut my hair this time for reasons that fit into all three categories. There’s been quite the amount of stress and emotional turmoil lately in my life. Even though I am grateful to be back in Tallahassee, the move process back home, stirred up all kinds of stuff again. I have processed and resolved quite a bit and I am no longer the same person I was before I left Tallahassee. I’m not the same person I was while in South Florida. And since returning home, I am different yet again, and I need my hair to reflect that. And I see even more changes on the horizon. I have been substitute teaching at my daughter’s preschool and the school she will attend next year, and I have loved every single minute of it. A new career is emerging, for sure. And in order for something to be created and born, something always has to die.

So, in a nutshell, women cut their hair because they are going through stuff. Or they have just gone through some stuff. Or they are about to change their life in some huge way. So if you see a woman who just chopped her hair, give her a knowing smile and nod, for she’s a brave mama working hard on her stuff.

Thanks so much for reading, and thanks again to Pear Tree Greeting. Remember, use code BYB2015 for 20% off your whole order!

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  • Maureen
    March 8, 2015 at 10:35 PM

    Yes!!!! Why I cut my hair, too!! And why I always end up growing it back out. It’s like a passage of life I experience. I have to do it the day I am ready, and then after a few months of maintaining a short hairstyle, have to grow it long again… To bring me back to the comfort of long hair.

  • Erika
    March 9, 2015 at 11:41 AM

    So true! I cut off about 2 inches last time, which is a lot for me πŸ™‚ But it made me feel so fresh and new, something I needed.

  • Steena
    March 9, 2015 at 10:43 PM

    I’ve watched my SIL grow Her hair out over the last several years as she went through a huge self-discovery process. It was like she was growing her mane to show her glory πŸ˜‰

    I however did chop my hair when I felt some change happening. I think I was ready for a little sass in my life. I was done being sweet and reserved! πŸ˜€

  • Sarah Shepperd
    March 10, 2015 at 12:27 PM

    Congrats on your successful speaking engagement! How exciting for you!
    That’s also a very interesting conclusion about cutting your hair. I’m glad you’ve found that it works to energize and spur you on in your efforts. We all need every boost we can get!
    I guess I’ve chosen the road less traveled; when I became a Christian in 2003, I read in I Cor 11, “But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering,” and I haven’t cut it since! I always kept my hair in a bob with bangs, but now I love my long hair knowing it’s a testimony of my faith πŸ™‚

    • Stephanie
      March 10, 2015 at 5:29 PM

      Thanks for sharing Sarah!

  • Michele
    March 11, 2015 at 5:31 AM

    Pictures? Would love to see the new do!

    • Stephanie
      March 11, 2015 at 7:48 PM

      Girl, that’s me in the photo!!!!

  • Mitzi
    June 16, 2015 at 11:54 PM

    I love your haircut!! It looks great on you, Stephanie! What do you think it sats about me that I have NEVER changed my hair? Obviously, I have changed with the decades and no longer have the bangs I had in the 80’s and 90’s, but other than adding a couple layers here and there, I’m the same. Hmmm…

    • Stephanie
      June 17, 2015 at 7:01 AM

      Thanks Mitzi! That is interesting! I am not sure, I only know from my experience of cutting/growing my hair a lot! Let me know what insights you come up with for you!