When I was going through my first trimester blues, I was noticing all these changes happening to my body, particularly, to my vagina. I keep thinking, “Great, not only I’m do I have one random stretch mark on my growing ass, but now I have a labia that has swollen past my panties.” Not a great visual, sorry for that.
I casually dropped my swollen vagina, or technically, labia, into a conversation after my mama friends kept encouraging me to wear leggings since I outgrew every thigh hole in my closet. There was no freaking way I was going to rock a Mariah Carey-like camel toe, not with my mild case of vulval vericose veins.
Then came the second trimester and the pee problem. I was clueless and slightly ashamed of this development. Not only was I pissing 20 times a day, but then I had to wear thick panty liners to catch additional wetness that evidently wasn’t making its way into the toilet. I’m convinced god was introducing me to my 75-year-old self.
Now that I’ve entered my third trimester, I have experienced the spinal/leg phenomenon called sciatica or psychotica as I like to refer to it because it sent me into a tailspin of nerve-shattering pain when I walked on concrete. Side effects include snapping at your awesome husband, wincing like a baby, and hitting yourself repeatedly in the ass for a 3-second cure. The real cure? Don’t walk. But is that really a good thing? Probably not.
So ladies, speak up! Tell your pregnant sisters the real raw deal. I know we have the Internet to answer every ridiculous question imaginable, but there’s nothing like hearing the truth from a fellow mama who’s been through it. I’m due in December, so feel free to share all the ugly details surrounding that final few weeks and the weeks after birth. I kinda hate surprises.