When you spend more than a decade doing your darnedest not to get pregnant, you start thinking that the moment you let your birth control guard down a baby will magically appear in your womb. We were so confident conceiving wouldn’t be an issue that we told people, “we aren’t trying, but we’re not NOT trying.”
A couple months later, we started trying. I deciphered my mysterious ovulation cycle with those expensive supermarket pee sticks and scheduled not-so-sexy boinking appointments on my peak days. I even consulted my spiritual advisor who suggested I converse with this future soul of ours. I was determined to make baby happen.
Despite my meticulous scheduling for five months, baby was a no-go. This led to battered egos, particularly my husband’s, and resulted in the scheduling of our first fertility counseling appointment to see if there was an issue.
My decision to consult professionals immediately relaxed us. It felt like we were now putting the pressure on someone else. And now that we weren’t scheduling our sexy time, we seemed to be doing it more and having fun.
By month 11 of project conception, just two weeks shy of our first fertility appointment, I was a week late and felt the first signs of pregnancy – massive boobs and bloating. I purchased a pack of the other kind of expensive pee sticks and the results were positive. YAY BABY!
The lessons I personally took away from my conception conundrum are ones I’ll continue to remember throughout mommyhood. Sometimes it’s ok for me to relinquish control. Perhaps my baby needed to come when it was ready, not when we wanted it to happen. Also, make love often and make sure you’re having a damn good time while “doing it.”